The beginning of a new school year is just around the corner – and with this may come a big change in your and your child’s life. They may be starting at school for the very first time, changing schools or even making the big move from primary school to high school. This change, although exciting, can be daunting for some children. The Kids Clinical Psychologist Dr Monique Robinson has come up with the following tips on how parents can best support their kids to cope with this change.
Preparation - remove the mystery
Dr Robinson says it may help to ease first day anxiety if you are able to visit the school ahead of the big day.
“If you can, meet the teachers and staff, practice your walk in and out of the school grounds, visit which room your child will be in and work out where your child’s schoolbag will go,” Dr Robinson says.
“Attend any orientation sessions the school offers, including parent information evenings or organised play dates in the school holidays.
“Your child can also practice wearing their school uniform and if you need to buy new school supplies such as a lunchbox or backpack, let your child choose them to build their excitement.
“When it comes to their first day, get them to help you pack their lunchbox, so they know what is in there. It’s best to pack foods that are easy to consume with limited packaging to remove any struggles around eating or disposal of packaging at recess and lunch.
“For children starting kindy and pre-primary, you should also ensure they can perform key tasks themselves such as putting their shoes on, going to the toilet alone and opening their own lunchbox.”
Dr Robinson also notes that if your child has allergies or other special requirements, you should ensure that the school is alerted ahead of time so that the classroom can be prepared by the first day.
First day nerves
Dr Robinson explains that first day nerves are expected and an important part of their development.
“Starting a new school, whether for the first time or moving schools, can be nerve-wracking but it is also an important part of growth and development in learning how to adapt to change, make new social connections and explore new environments,” Dr Robinson says.
“Acknowledge that it’s normal to be nervous but try to focus on the positive experiences that starting school will bring to help counter the nerves with excitement.
“Try not to be a lawnmower parent and smooth the path too much for your child. You are there as a support person as they develop their independence in the school years. They need to learn how to solve problems on their own so don’t be tempted to intervene until your child has had a chance to work through problems themselves.
“As adults, we bring our own experiences to the situation and if we found school difficult or were bullied or excluded it can be hard to keep those emotions separate from our child’s experience. Keep your own emotions in check and let your child navigate their own path.
“Focus on open communication with your child. Ask open-ended questions and respect their space if they don’t want to talk. Remember they may be tired at the end of each day as they adapt to a new environment.”
Dr Robinson notes that a change in school can also provide opportunities for a new start.
“If your child is moving schools after a bad experience at a previous school, talk about fresh starts. Let them know a new school is a new beginning and a chance to rewrite their experience of school in a more positive way,” she says.
Building relationships
Dr Robinson explains young children often need simple, overt assistance in navigating new friendships.
“Encouraging your child to follow their own interests may help them to find like-minded peers,” Dr Robinson says.
“Teach them how to ask others if they can play and give them ideas of ways to engage with others, such as building things together, playing on play equipment together or engaging in imaginative play.
“Breaking down social difficulties into smaller basic steps will help your child work out a way through and will encourage them to approach their teachers if they require assistance, rather than approaching the teacher yourself as a first step.
“Small children will learn a lot about basic social behaviour at school but you can help by trying to get to know other families, particularly those who have children your child likes to play with. Respond to invitations and try to invite other children to play, whether in the park or after school to help foster relationships with kids your child enjoys spending time with.”
Beyond the first day
Dr Robinson says you should not underestimate the emotional and physical exhaustion that may come with the beginning of school. She suggests keeping the rest of life as simple as possible while your child adapts to a new school and routine.
“It’s recommended that you limit extracurricular activities in the first term as you observe how your child’s energy and emotions are adapting to the new start,” Dr Robinson says.
“Ensure your child goes to bed on time and gets plenty of sleep. If they usually go to bed late and struggle to wake in time for school, you may want to start an earlier bedtime routine to avoid the sleepiness and rush of the morning.
“Keep their diet healthy and make sure they have a good breakfast before school each day so that they are not limited by hunger or lack of energy.”
Dr Robinson says you should also be aware of other life changes that go along with starting a new school.
“Many children move schools amidst other changes in life, such as moving house, financial problems, separation and divorce and other social problems,” she says.
“Be sensitive to a new school being one more change and try to be as empathetic as possible while maintaining as much stability as you can in the rest of their life.
“Starting school can also mean a change in working arrangements for parents, particularly stay at home parents who may be re-entering the workforce. Be patient with yourself as you work to find a balance that suits your family.
“Despite the busy lives we lead, try as hard as you can to keep up-to-date with the school calendar of events and prepare in advance for dress-up days and events to support your child’s participation in the school community.”