As thousands of West Australian school leavers pack their bags for a week of celebration to mark the end of their school journey this weekend, it can be an anxious time for parents.
A study published in the Health Promotion Journal of Australia found almost 90 per cent (88.5%) of parents surveyed were concerned about their child being hurt by other Leavers under the influence of alcohol. Almost 70 per cent (66.7%) were worried about their child hurting themselves while drinking.
The Kids Research Institute Australia researchers from the Supporting Family Conversations Project have shared their top tips to help parents talk to their teenagers about drinking before it’s their turn to head off for Leavers Week celebrations.
It’s never too early (or too late) to talk about drinking
Try to talk to your child about alcohol well before they head off to Leavers – ideally, before they even hit their teens. The transition to high school can also be a good opportunity to begin discussing family expectations around alcohol, if you haven’t already done so, as it is a time when children may become more independent and develop new friendships. It can be really helpful to start talking about alcohol early and to keep talking with your child as opportunities arise, for example when they are asking to go to a party, when you see advertising or someone on TV drinking etc.
Avoid threats or scare tactics
Ask your child what they think about alcohol and listen to them. Talking about drinking with your teenager doesn’t mean you’re encouraging them – it allows you to understand their perspectives. Avoid leading questions that can make children less inclined to talk. Starting conversations with questions like: “You don’t drink do you…?” or “You’ll say no won’t you…?” might not encourage your child to respond honestly and openly. Try to keep the conversation open and maintain a non-judgemental attitude to make it more likely your child will talk to you when they need support.
Set some boundaries
It’s important to let your child know what you expect with regards to drinking. Rules around drinking are more likely to be effective when they are negotiated early and are applied in a consistent and predictable way (rather than being introduced after they’ve received a party invitation). Let your child know the rules are in place because you love them and want them to stay safe. Rules can be re-negotiated as your child gets older and when they have shown responsible behaviour. It is important to make sure your child knows what your non-negotiables are, (for example no drinking and driving; that you will not supply them with alcohol until they are 18 etc.)
Help your child develop the language to deal with peer pressure
Peer pressure to drink can be a significant challenge for teenagers. You can help your child think about ways to say no to alcohol, or for older teenagers, limit the amount they drink. Some ideas include:
- “No thanks, I’m fine.”
- “I’ve got sport/work in the morning.”
- “I can’t I’m on antibiotics.”
- “No thanks, I hate the taste.”
- “No thanks, I’m staying sober tonight to keep my friends safe.”
- “No thanks, my parents will ground me if they find out I’ve been drinking.”
Think twice about buying alcohol for your child on Leavers
Providing your teenager with alcohol will not limit the amount they drink at Leavers and can increase levels of drinking and the risky behaviours that go with this. It is also important to remember that even if your child has already turned 18, many Leavers will still be under 18 years of age. In WA it is illegal for anyone to supply alcohol to someone aged under 18 without their parent’s permission. Encourage your child to enjoy the fun, alcohol-free activities held during Leavers with all their friends, and to help keep each other safe.
What about letting them have “just a taste”?
Research shows that when parents don’t provide their child with any alcohol at all (including sips and tastes) and have stricter rules against teenage drinking, their children tend to drink less and show fewer risky alcohol-related behaviours. Parental supply of alcohol to children does not teach responsible drinking or protect your child against risky drinking and its related harms. It may just send children the message that you don’t mind them drinking.
Watch your own drinking around your kids
Parents’ approaches to drinking themselves and their attitudes to adolescent drinking will influence young peoples’ alcohol-related behaviours. Children notice parental drinking and even very young children can recognise alcohol brands they have seen in alcohol advertising. Model responsible approaches to alcohol and let your child see you refusing alcohol and choosing to have alcohol free days.
Teenage drinking is not inevitable
Compared to 20 years ago, young people are now starting to drink later and more young people are choosing not to drink. In 2019, 66% of 14-17 year old’s had never drunk a full serve of alcohol, whereas in 2001, only 28% of 14-17 year old’s had never consumed a full drink25. It’s important to support and encourage your child when they choose not to drink and remind them that not “everyone” is doing it.
For more information on talking to your child about alcohol and online safety, visit the Supporting Family Conversations website.