Next month, thousands of West Australian families will mark the start of their child’s high school journey.
It’s a time of big change and challenges for the kids starting year 7, both academically and socially, as they transform from children into teenagers.
And The Kids Research Institute Australia researchers from the Supporting Family Conversations Project say it is also the perfect time to talk to your child about drinking.
Why is the start of year 7 a good time to start the conversation?
The transition to high school can be a good opportunity to begin discussing family expectations around alcohol, if you haven’t already done so. It’s a time when children may become more independent and develop new friendships. Talking openly and setting boundaries now can help children navigate new experiences and challenges more safely and provide them with security and certainty.
My child is very innocent and isn’t even thinking about alcohol – should I still have the discussion?
Yes. Ideally parents should start talking with their children about alcohol early, before the teenage years. Children may be more open to hearing what you have to say and to accepting your rules while they are younger than they may be later on in high school.
What’s the best way to start the conversation?
Take opportunities as they arise in everyday life, for example conversations may be triggered when they are asking to go to a party, when you see advertising or someone on TV drinking etc. Starting a conversation using a trigger might be as easy as saying, “What do you think?” and taking it from there!
- It’s useful to be able to explain to your child why you don’t want them to drink.
- Thinking about this before you talk, can help the conversation to be more relaxed and honest.
- It’s also important to remember that as parents you don’t need to be experts. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it’s OK to suggest that you and your child work together to find out the answer.
How do my own drinking habits affect this conversation?
A parent’s approach to their own drinking and their attitudes to adolescent drinking will influence young peoples’ alcohol-related behaviours. Children notice parental drinking and even very young children can recognise alcohol brands they have seen in alcohol advertising. Model responsible approaches to alcohol and let your child see you refusing alcohol and choosing to have alcohol free days.
Our different backgrounds and experiences with alcohol influence the way we talk about it with children. Make sure you and your partner (or the other important adults in your child’s life) are on the same page about what you expect regarding your child and alcohol.
Is now the time to lay out some rules about what is acceptable in our family?
It’s important to let your child know what you expect with regards to drinking. Rules around drinking are more likely to be effective when they are negotiated early and are applied in a consistent and predictable way (rather than being introduced after they have received a party invitation). Let your child know the rules are in place because you love them and want them to stay safe. Rules can be re-negotiated as your child gets older and when they have shown responsible behaviour.
Should I completely “ban” my teenager from drinking?
The national health guidelines to reduce health risks from drinking recommend that to reduce injury and other harms to their health children and young people under 18 years of age, should not drink alcohol. It is illegal for under 18’s to buy or consume alcohol on a licenced premise. In WA, secondary supply laws make it illegal for adults to supply children under the age of 18 with alcohol in a private setting without their parent or guardian’s consent. It is illegal for others to give your child alcohol without your permission – you have the right to say no. These laws support parents to make decisions about when, or if, their child tries alcohol.
What about giving them “just a taste” at this age?
Research shows that children tend to drink less and show fewer risky alcohol-related behaviours when their parents do not provide them with any alcohol at all (including sips and tastes) and have stricter rules against teenage drinking. Contrary to what we once thought, parents giving their child alcohol does not teach responsible drinking or protect children against risky drinking and its related harms. Providing your child with alcohol may just send children the message that you don’t mind them drinking.
For more information on talking to your child about alcohol and online safety, visit the Supporting Family Conversations website.